Thursday, January 15, 2015

Superurinary texts.

Several times every workday I find myself standing facing a sign:

PLEASE FLUSH COMPLETELY AFTER EACH USE

Sure thing, boss. (To be sure, this sign is necessary because I work in a very old building with very old plumbing; none of those fancy Japanese self-flushers.)

The sign makes me nostalgic for the unintentionally (I think) funny one I used to see in the same position back when lots of people smoked, and smoking was allowed just about everywhere:

DO NOT PLACE BUTTS IN URINALS

I'm even more nostalgic for the unofficial texts one could see in similar locations. From the Lion's Head:
God made Shakespeare, then broke the mold,
God broke the mold, then made Jacqueline Susann,
MAILER will advise God what molds he's trying on,
Or, from the Bluegrass Inn, in Nashville:
LSD consumes 47 times its weight in excess reality.
Image: Marcel Duchamp, "Fountain" 1917 (original lost). Readymade porcelain urinal. Height 60 cm. Philadelphia Museum of Art.