Music for one apartment and six drummers.

Do try this at home.

Can it get any worse than this?

The Mets have lost three of four to the worst team in their division, and in the final game of the series were unable to score a run against an unheralded starter who went seven innings and a bullpen that, coupled with some magnificent fielding, kept the Amazins off the board. Inability to capitalize on scoring opportunities seems to be this team's bugbear, as it has been in so many seasons past. Joe Martini, in his comment on my last Mets post, puts it thus: Eleven hits and two friggin' runs???!!!

Tim Marchman likens this weekend's Mets/Yanks series (which, given the predicted weather, is unlikely to start tonight, thereby giving both teams a bit of rest) to "a pair of bums fighting over a ham sandwich in an alley." Of the Mets, he notes: "The team...basically consists of players having All-Star-class seasons and bantha fodder." This last reference sent me scurrying to Google, where I learned that I'm not sufficiently into Star Wars geekdom.

Wedding scene from Little Murders

This probably is as comprehensive a summary of what y'all in God-fearing Red State America think about us anomic coastal elites as has ever been put on film.

I found this while doing research for a big post that will be coming soon, with the working title, "So, just what is art, anyway?" (Never let it be said that S-AB shies from the Big Questions.) I know you're all waiting eagerly. Meanwhile, enjoy Donald Sutherland in what has to be his best small role so far.

Oh. My. God.

I need this like I need another Republican administration.

That, and having Lastings Milledge support the "curse of the ex-Met" theory.

(OK, maybe it could be worse. I could be a White Sox fan, having to deal with Dollgate. Kevin Hench is my kind of sportswriter: one who can start a story with a quote from Virginia Wolff, compare her to Randy Wolf, then note that Mrs. Dalloway would bat fifth in the current Chisox lineup.)

Update: Figueroa's trash talk doesn't jinx the Mets tonight as Maine pitches a good six innings, Wagner gets another save while preserving his zip-uh-de-doo-dah ERA, and Church illuminates the scoreboard with four ribbies. Milledge, meanwhile, is held hitless.