Notes on becoming an octogenarian

If I had been asked, at age eight, if I could imagine reaching the age of eighty, I would probably have said I could not. My hope for my future was to die gloriously in battle, and with my dying breath to utter words that would prove inspirational for generations to come. 

Fortunately, that was not my fate. Here I am at eighty. I can't resist sharing a story I've shared recently in other contexts. If I recall correctly it comes from the Scottish writer and broadcast executive Moray McLaren, according to whom a collector of folklore visited a remote Scottish island. He got off the boat and, walking along the island's main street, sought to find someone with a long memory. He stopped a man and said, "Excuse me, but do you know if there are any octogenarians on the island?" The man furrowed his brow for a moment, then said, "Octogenarians? ... Ah, yes. There was two. But my brother shot the one and the other flew away. Octogenarians, yes, there was two." 

 I shall avoid remote Scottish islands.

"I grow old ... I grow old ..."

 "I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled."

When I was in high school and first read this couplet from T.S. Eliot's (photo) "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" I assumed that a man's having the bottoms of his trousers rolled, or cuffed, was a new fashion trend in 1915, when the poem was written, and that Eliot ascribed to the aging Mr. Prufrock a desire to appear au courant.

This morning a different reason occurred to me as I tucked, or rolled under, the bottoms of my trousers. From my teen years until now I have worn trousers with a thirty inch inseam. However, I now find that instead of the desirable "break" at shoe level, I get an unsightly sprawl. The reason became evident when a doctor measured my stature and found it was five feet seven, down from the five feet ten it had been for most of my life. I had, for some time, noticed that people, especially women, seemed on the average taller than I was used to seeing. 

This I now know, is because a loss of stature frequently occurs during aging. According to this article, by losing three inches I've lost the maximum expected amount. I hope that's true.

Perhaps, then, poor J. Alfred had lost an inch or more growing old, and that's why he needed to roll his trousers.

Photo: Thomas Stearns Eliot with his sister and his cousin by Lady Ottoline Morrell.jpg: Lady Ottoline Morrell (1873–1938) derivative work: Octave.H, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons